wishful-geek:

do you ever casually say “i ship it” in a real life conversation then get strange looks from people who have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about because you forget it’s not part of normal people’s vocabulary

I think my whole school believes I am a boat maker or something.

(Source: copperbooms)

Won a book via goodreads.com, got these two cards with it, oh dear lord

spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA
english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western
welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk
chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced three different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.
arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!
latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening
sign language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"

don’t you hate it when you offer someone food and they say yes

(Source: radichul)

allhail-oliversykes:

dearmarisacountmein:

thegurlsastrghtuphustler:

Ladies and Gentleman Jack Barakat.

alex is dying omg

can we appreciate this for a moment

(Source: lacerati0ngravity)

(Source: catho-lickmyballs)

captainlucifer:

walk up in the crossroads like what up i want a big cock

image

imogenbynight:

candidcatharsis:

it’s a bird

it’s a plane

it’s

the entire fucking population of heaven

image

i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much:

tunacaptor:

rogierinthedeep:

lordoftheinternet:

toy story but with the grown up kind of toys if you know what i mean

you got a friend in me

They’d still be called woody and buzz

I THINK WE ALL NEED TO TAKE A SEAT

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

is this cocaine gluten free

(Source: booasaur)

tangletots:

askinnyblackman:

duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck

goose

image

(Source: forrever--youngg)